bedazzled

videoblocks.com

The truth must dazzle gradually

or every man be blind.

                                            Emily Dickinson

Thanks for your visit,

Riverwatch

A Bad Day At The Ranch

Just been out to lunch with old friends.
We find we all are being over-run with family who "want to help us",
but ....you will find this strange (ho ho ho)..... somehow we are the helpers!"

Not that there is anything wrong with being a helper.

Just like there is nothing wrong with having a cup of coffee and then taking a nap.tastingtable.com



Emma Jean has been just great, still volunteering in spite of a major stroke (one year recovery but she recovered and you cannot tell she has had a stroke).  Oh, yes, she broke her femur (another one year recovery but  it overlapped some with the stroke recovery so it was like a blip-on-the-blip.)  Yeh, she now uses a cane, but don't a lot of people?  They don't ask you down at the DMV if you use a cane!
Maybe you are using a cane to whack stupid people over the head with!

Sorry.  I am just remembering my grandfather who couldn't walk but wasn't dressed until he had his cane in hand.
njadvocates.com

And Emma Jean almost bled to death from the Advil she took to manage the pain of the splintered femur, but she did recover!  I mean, and I can tell you this as a nurse, hemorrhage is life threatening, but if you don't hemorrhage to death you recover fairly quickly with a few transfusions and a bit of a rest.  Emma Jean recovered nicely after the crisis.

Her daughter (who needs a place to stay during her lengthy new home construction) has decided Emma Jean, age 80, is too infirm and "needs somebody to stay with her".
Since said daughter  has never been fastidious as her mother is, she has decided Emma Jean is too fussy about everything especially the kitchen.
Since she is "helping" her mom, she is excused from ever saying thanks.
Her mom is so lucky.
Emma has gained 30 pounds since we all went to lunch a couple of months ago!

Sue Ann and I are aghast as we listen to Emma Jean.

Sue Ann can relate because even though the cubs haven't moved in on her, she cannot take a cruise without them.
Not just a cub.
Several cubs.  Sue Ann pays for it all.  After all, they are "helping her" so she won't be alone in case she strokes out or something on her cruise!  God forbid she find an on-board lover to rob her of her money!

I was a little ashamed to share my pathetic little undramatic cub story, but I had to admit I am in the aging arena also.  Mundane of course, but right there with the crowd.  It is about family dinners.  It seems the family worries about me being alone.  Grandma needs company.  Open door policy, so here comes the dinner crowd.  Ok.  I'll rustle something up.  They all have fun, cousins relating with cousins and my grown-up cubs talking tech with each other and telling jokes I don't get......and then they all leave.
As I am cleaning up alone, I can't help but wonder why I skipped lunch with Sandy after church to have quality time with family.

Oh, that's right.  It was about not being alone.
pinterest.com

Sandy calls me up on the telephone and complains that her afternoon is spent on her tiny deck alcove watching the lizards play on the hillside rocks for hours.  Actually, it is just one lizard.
One lonely lizard. Zipping about.  Basking in the sun.  Resting on a flat rock.
Sandy is depressed.
She needs to get over it!!

Cheerio,
Riverwatch

PS  All three of us, the lunch-bunch, are without husbands in our old age.  As we sat there trolling the good old days, we realized the prime purpose of a husband....(be he the first one, ie father to the cubs, or a later one)...is to run those cubs off!!!
We women are very wedded to our cubs, whom we love dearly.


souloftruth.com

Sorry we are that we ever criticized that which protected us.

Thank you for your visit.

Longevity. What's the point? Interviews # 3 and # 4

This is a follow-up post to the 2/25/16

preceding post on What's the Point?

Longevity.  What's the point?
Interviews # Three and Four

Is it worth the bother and pain?  

Interview #3     She is so sweet.  The only thing we ever argue about is the status of her wealth.  She denies her wealth.  Tries to tell me she  has never been rich and just because she and her husband used to fly around in a Lear Jet doen't mean they themselves had money.


bbc.com

Well, she dresses like a million bucks at age 83!
The Lear Jet is long since gone, as is her husband, but the aura of wealth still clings to this happy elderly lady.

I try to tell her I am poor but she is having none of that fiddle faddle!
So I tell her it is all relative.  I merely am comparing myself to her.
I ask her if she knows the difference between an elderly lady, such as herself, and an old woman.
She doesn't know.  I give her a hint:  "I am an old woman."
Her response is a statement not an answer to my question!  She states I am much younger than she!

"The difference between an elderly lady and an old woman", I say, "is money!"

Not responding to my wisdom, she brings up her age again!
Once we make it to our 80's I guess we need to brag!
So I ask the question:  would you like to live to be 130?  
"Not really," she said.  "I want to be functional and I don't want to live longer than I am functional,  but if I have to, I will, just as long as the young people keep smiling at me!"
                                                   
Longevity.  It is worth it if young people keep smiling at us.
                   Old people's smiles are helpful, too,
                   but if we live long enough, all the old people we know are dead!
                   Need those young people to smile!
                                                       *



Interview #4     She is a nurse.  Aging, to be sure, but not so old she doesn't know which end is up.
I don't have to interview her because she is gonna tell me whether I ask or not.

usnews.com

"I tell people who whine about why they are still living, that they are living because they either have something yet to learn, or they have something yet to teach."



Ok,
Riverwatch

Thanks for dropping by.

Super Lifeguard

Things You Learn While Lifeguarding

americanpool.com

At 17 she is an experienced and stellar lifeguard.  She loves her job and prefers going in early for the 5am to 9am shift.  I asked Kennedy why ever would she want to get up so early to go to work.

Kennedy was clear.  "I go that early because that is when the old people and the dead beat athletes go and old people are nice.

Except the glutton who says she is  diabetic and has eaten up ALL our sugar pills we keep for swimmers who are getting low blood sugar.
 blubberbuster.com

She even demands a piece of your orange if you happen to be eating one.  "I need a piece of that orange", she says.  "I am diabetic!"

"Do you give her a piece of your orange?"

"Oh, yes.  I'd really like to give her a piece of my mind and tell her she is a glutton, but I don't want to be moved to the shift where families clog the pool.  I like the old people and dead beat athletes."

"What is a dead beat athlete?"

"A used-to-be athlete whose time is past and who is in the pool 

re-living the glory days.  Wearing a tight little speed-o with the muffin top hanging over the edge."

"What's a speed-o?"

"You don't know what a speed-o is??!  Well it is obscene.  Tiny.  One old guy wears one that is see through white!  Why would you expose the rest of the world to that body?!  And, oh, Grandma.  You should see them strip down!  So confident.  Very proud.  Gross."
mandyvstheworld.com

"Are any of the dead beat athletes women?"

"No.  The old women do water aerobics, or so they say.  Actually they hang in their floaties "getting exercise", but really it is just social hour.  Not that I blame them.  I tried to do their exercises in the deep end without a floatie, and I had to tread water constantly and I was so exhausted I decided to never try that again!  So they hang there talking, wearing atrocious bathing suits from out of the 90's.  Their suits are as loose and flabby as they are!  
                                                                               theblueroom.bupa.com.ua


I don't understand why they don't buy cute new bathing suits."
reddit.com

"But you like them?"

"Oh yes, old people are nice.  But sometimes the triatheletes come in and they are MEAN.   They are mean to each other and mean to lifeguards.

crispysharp.blogspot.com

I had to break up a fight once when two of them were fighting over a lane.  I like old people better."

And all the time we think we are invisible to the young,

Riverwatch

PS   When I asked her how she at her young age could break up a fight between triathalon men in their prime, she said "I have a whistle!!  And I blew it so hard everybody in the pool jumped!  Then I climbed down and walked over to the athletes and bent down and talked to them like they were children.  'Here', I said, 'I bet this lane would work for you, and if you took this other lane, I bet that would work out.'  And so they took the lanes I pointed out and the fight was over."

Longevity, what's the point? Interview Number Two

This is a follow-up post to the 2/25/16

preceding post on What's the Point?

Longevity.  What's the point?
Interview # Two

Is it worth the bother and pain?  

2005.  Katrina.

Hurricane Katrina

Where were you when you heard about Katrina making landfall.

Were you there?

Were you involved?

I was far away from the site, but because of real-time coverage, I watched and watched and watched. 

I cannot imagine what a life changer Katrina was for so many people.

It was a life changer for me just watching from afar.

For one thing, watching caskets float up out of the ground, I made a major decision about my burial some day.  As though I get to chose!

But I decided to bag the casket idea and go for cremation and "scattering".

Morbid, yes?  I can't help it!  I'm a nurse.  

Another Katrina life changer for me came in the form of an "interview" with one of my grown sons in the long and horrid aftermath of Katrina.

See, with my additional education in Social Gerontology, the study of aging and the social impact surrounding aging, I was horrified by the media coverage of old old old unwell patients who, in order to be saved, put young and needed human beings, (the care givers) at risk for their lives.  

Some caregivers rose to the challenge.  OMG

Some caregivers made different decisions and opted out. OMG

I withheld judgement as I thought about it.

Yet in an emotional highly charged situation, to withhold judgement is as good as judging.

So I said to my grown son, "If I am ever in a situation as an old old person where to save me you must put your life at risk, please go on without me."

clarksvilleonline.com

The look that crossed my son's face was as sad and hopeless as any look I have seen in another human being's countenance.  His voice was wretched, full of an understanding-deficit void, as he softly accused me:  "What kind of people do you think we are?"

I was taken aback by the accusation.  Did I not command the moral high ground here?!

"What kind of people do you think we are?"

pinterest.com

Looking for the moral high ground in all that I do,

missing the boat sometimes, maybe even often,

Riverwatch

PS  Thanks for being who you are.

achhikhabre.com

Oceans

Longing

If you want people to build a ship, teach them to long for 

the endless immensity of the sea.

Antoine de Saint Exupery

pixshark.com

  

               

                            Where two oceans meet 

                                                           Baltic and North Sea
                                                           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE9FLSsVrig

Longing,
and grateful for your visit,
Riverwatch

Slinking Into the Dark Shadows

Driven into the Shadows 

Free speech has never been free. It is guaranteed, true, but you always, always, always pay for your stand on anything controversial.

"Free" speech (the right to say what you want to say)  in America is under fierce attack and has been for some time.

So is freedom of religion.

It is becoming clearer and clearer that it will take more and more courage to be openly religious acknowledging there is a Creator .

It is becoming clearer and clearer that it will take more and more courage to “go on the record” about anything.

So why be religious?

Because.  Because life makes more sense when we have hope.

The hope that there is a hereafter, a hereafter that is better than here.

The hope of love that surpasses all understanding.

The hope of peace that surpasses all understanding.

Since we each only have a brief moment to splish-splash through our experiences here, let's make it count, I say.

Christ hung on a cross at age 33, changing the world forever.

If we get to last into old age, let's make it count, I say.

This Easter Sunday as I remember the hope and thrill of the resurrection, I am going to “be brave” and share again with you another true nursing story.
This did not happen long ago and far away.
But its happening in a local emergency room, staffed with outstanding educated medical personnel, was revealing to me of the fact that, yes, Riverwatch, there is a satan.

Satan is as real as you are.

It was a busy busy night and I was supervisor for the hospital for that night. It was the kind of night that ER personnel “recognize” as a humdinger in the works even before they begin their shift!
Our one and only Security Guard arrived on duty, his face pale with some kind of fear.

 “The moon has a cross on it! Look!”

Some of us took a quick peek from the parking lot, but we saw only a full moon.
commons.wikimedia.org

 Only the Security Guard saw a cross, and ….well, you know, we all knew then that he was “ a mental case” and we dismissed him. Easy to dismiss him because we were getting slammed.

As a nursing supervisor, when I wasn't busy running all over the hospital, I hung out in the ER. Certified in trauma nursing and advanced life support, I was “back-up” if the ER became overwhelmed.

We were getting overwhelmed that night.

When the radio call came in from an ambulance on its way with an out-of-control young girl, found alone and unconscious on the street at 3 in the morning, the paramedic revealed that they were bringing her in sandwiched between 2 stretchers because the three of them could not restrain her even though she was unconscious.

The most experienced nurse in the ER turned to me and said, “Don't leave, Riverwatch. You are going to see something you have probably never seen before. Besides, we are going to need you.”

Belinda …..I shall call her Belinda....arrived.
She was a small young teenager, 80 pounds at most. As forewarned, she was sandwiched between two stretchers and her writhing was still going on. As the three paramedics transferred her to an ER stretcher, it took 6 of us to do the job of holding her down and getting restraints on.

She was unconcious and dressed totally in black with long black hair that had obviously been dyed. Blackish reddish fingernail polish. No identification for who she was.

Breathing on her own, Belinda did not need intubated but she needed much care. I was assigned “the head” to hold her head with both of my hands as others tied (and re-tied!) her down in bed as tests were run trying to figure out what was in her system.
A tube was inserted through her nose and into her stomach to pump out the contents of her stomach. There was the prompt return of alcohol...lots and lots of alcohol...but nothing else.
Her drug screen showed nothing but then screens do not screen for everything.
Her blood alcohol was comatose level.

It became a waiting game: hold Belinda down until her system is flushed with IV fluids and the alcohol begins to wear off.

Still at the head of the stretcher, I tried to talk soothingly to her while some of the crew and the police got busy  finding who she was.  Her name was supplied to us by the police.

Slowly she began to come out of the unconscious level, still threshing and writhing but talking.
Three medical people were still at her side constantly: 2 RN's and one MD.
Her voice was “tiny”, the young young female teenage voice.

Here is a transcript of her words:

“Mommy, Mommy, HELP me! He's taking me down. He's taking me down.”

Naturally I thought she must have been raped!

Me: “Belinda, who's taking you down?”

“Help me. Help me. Help me. Mommy, the fire is burning me. Help me!”

Me: “Belinda, we are here with you. Nobody's going to hurt you. We are helping you.”

“Mommy! Help me. He's taking me down.”

Me: “Belinda, we are here with you. You are ok.”

Suddenly Belinda's face contourted into a look I have never ever seen before in any patient. Her teeth were completely bared, the grimace contourting her entire face was not human, but maybe, maybe some kind of animal.

and then from out of the throat of a 80 pound girl came a deep loud male voice: “Belinda is not here. Belinda is dead. I want to kill you ALL and I will kill you!”

Stunned, we three medical personnel looked at each other and then the male RN said, “Enough of this.”

He called one of the medical division units on 4^th Floor and had another male nurse come help him and together they prayed over this young girl, demanding that satan depart.

After the prayer, Belinda lay quiet of her writhing as deep gutteral "gruff male" non-human growls came occasionally from her throat.
Eerie scarey growls.  Like nothing I have ever heard in a human.
Her face, having relaxed, occasionally contourted to bared teeth again, but finally relaxed completely.

Her parents arrived on the scene, having been found. Belinda had gone “partying” with a young friend early in the evening. Her young friend was found and said some man "in a truck"  had tried to pick both of them up offering another party “where you can have some real fun”. The young friend declined and begged Belinda not to go, but go she did.

Her mom revealed that Belinda had been dressing totally in black for sometime now
ytpak.me

 and kept talking about demons being in their home, but the mom thought she was just “acting out”.

Incidently, the mom and dad were not speaking to one another. (ER personnel are excellent at noticing those small nuances.)

Belinda made a full recovery. Well, we think it was a full recovery.

I celebrate Easter this year, as always, grateful for my Savior.

As I watch the senseless killing across our globe that is so poorly understood, I have insight as to what is behind that.

And I praise God for the sacrifice He has made for me, for all of us.

I have hope.

Thanks for sharing this moment with me,

Riverwatch

Evil, wherever it is, is made vulnerable by shining a bright light on it.
creatingopenspace.com
Exposure.

Overcoming  with love.

Longevity. Interview # One

  

This is a follow-up post to the 

preceding post on What's the Point?

Longevity.  What's the point?
Interview # One

Is it worth the bother and pain?  

I start off my series of interviews with one of my smartest friends.
Jean is in her mid-70's.
She is shrewd about life and knows the difference between apples and oranges.

"Old people cannot be compared to young people".  A lifelong career in education, Jean is adamant about this!
 "We learn differently, we remember differently, we are not on a learning curve.  What we learn as old people we learn in an atmosphere of deteriorating brain cells."

Hard to debate that one!

Jean says, "It doesn't matter if there is a point to longevity or not.  It is what it is.  Some of us experience it whether we want to or not.  There must be a purpose, 
so the purpose must be finding the purpose.
I don't know how people face any part of life, especially old age,  without a belief in God.  I am closer to God as an aging person."

Longevity.
Old age.
The pasture for questing purpose to life and to grow closer to God.wall-pix.net



Too old to "quest"?

I bet you some younger person is looking at you and questing, trolling the mind, wondering!
Jamie Fellner of hrw.org


Perhaps we live for others?

pinterest.com

pinterest.com








I appreciate your visit.
Thanks.
Riverwatch

What's the point?

Part of long life is living long after the point becomes pointless.

I know this because I do some hobnobbing with people past 90 who are still up and running , 

or at least walking, 

and not one of them seems able to figure out what the point of longevity is.

In various states of whining....loud, whispery, or apologetically......they communicate the pointlessness of life when lovers have died, friends have disappeared, food has become an enemy, all the senses have muted, sex is gone, mobility is such a challenge and ugly is entrenched.

Having once-upon-a-time been buzzballs of energy and accomplishment, 

having been at least somewhat esteemed,

 having received compliments (or at the very least, feedback) 

they now find themselves in uncharted water.

The uncharted water of pointlessness.

No pointers, no feedback (except negative but sometimes not even that).

Few peers and only stupid youngsters to comment on them as though they are mascots.

 What is the point of life after it becomes pointless?

If humanity is going to live to be 130, or older, we best be figuring out what the point is!

Naturally I don't know the answer, but I shall do a series of posts trying to arrive at some path through the uncharted waters as I continue to interview people unaware of the point of my interview!

Is longevity worth the bother and pain?  Why or why not?

iyouthmagblog.blogspot.com

serbia.com

At least these three old people can still "hang onto" their rescuers.

What if they couldn't even hang on?

Lots to think about,

Hope to see you later,

Riverwatch

Please come take a walk with me and see what we can find.

     

theatlantic.com                                                 pinterest.com

Leaving a Lasting Impact

Who impacted your life?

How did their legacy continue?


Never underestimate the importance of your life.
My greatest role models have no idea I am even watching!


Probably we all want to live a life worth imitating, but if any of us have screwed that up, each life lived  is still a life worth examining.

Even today, long after Harry S. Truman has passed on from this life, we are still debating his decision to drop the bomb.  THE bomb.
He said once he made that decision, he never looked back.  He said it was for future generations to examine that decision.

We examine his decision even today.
Was it a good decision given the circumstances, or a monumental screw-up for the world?
anna-bownesspark.ca

Still and all, his life is a life worth examining.






Legacy.
Never underestimate the importance of your life.


phantomphreaq.deviantart.com

Someone, somewhere
beholds you,
follows your actions
and learns from you. 



Thanks for pausing here at this blog.
I do appreciate you for it.
Riverwatch

Inshallah

From an English School in Kashmir:

EVERY CHILD COMES WITH THE MESSAGE

THAT GOD IS NOT YET DISCOURAGED OF MAN

"That was lucky!"

The longer you hang around,

 the more likely you are to run out of luck.

                                    old Hans Solo
                                                of Star Wars fame

Talk openly.

Talk openly.

Ok, I admit it.  I am old and I read the obituaries.  

Remember when you were young and you tried to read the obituaries like your parents and grandparents, but it was such a mixture of boring and horrifying ( mostly boring) that you gave up the attempt?

Somewhere along life's path, way down the path, obituaries become interesting. 

They are not particularly horrifying except when the deceased is exactly your age.

"Another person my age died!"

The following obituary touched me deeply.  

I loved the openess, the understanding and the sharing of important information.

Conor was like so many many many of us who face anxiety disorders and other mental health illnesses in loved ones or even in ourselves.
Mental illnesses that are often mild and easily treated, 
yet often untreated, 
or treated inappropriately by self 
or even treated inappropriately by  physicians.  

It is a huge dilemma in our nation and in our world, and I thank Conor's family for the grace in the following obituary.

Riverwatch

Conor  _____      (1993-2016)

Boulder, Colorado

Our beautiful son Conor recently died.

It appears he overdosed while self-medicating for anxiety.

Conor was kind, intelligent, sweet, complicated, curious, private, and opinionated. He was the most interesting person we have ever known.

He loved art, music, bicycles, photography, chemistry, animals, movies, books, bouldering, discussing ideas, family, friends, and CU Boulder.

Conor loved life and had big plans for his future. Those plans were cut short by a tragic mistake.

We love our son more than anything. We are very proud of Conor. He made the world a better place. We miss him so much. The pain from his loss is indescribable.

We think Conor would want to say: 1) thanks to all who were part of my life; 2) be kind to people and animals; 3) open your mind to new ideas; 4) be an organ donor; 5) support equal rights for all people; and 6) talk openly about mental-health issues.

We have not decided on a memorial service; it is just too much right now.

.....or.....

Oh, to be young!
Valentines Day at Elementary School?  Remember?

Never a pain for the, shall we call them, privileged.

She is only 8, but at 8 she is nobody's fool.
Her long waist-length hair is glossy, straight and light ash brown.  Surprising, since her mother is Japanese.

We still haven't figured out if she is shy, or a snob,
but this we do know, she is model material~  thin, tall, erect.
We haven't figured out yet if she is proud,
 or merely trying to go low-profile with as straight and narrow a shadow as she can muster.

She has been a fan of fashion since she was 3.  Sleek.  Classy.  No frills.

Her almond shaped eyes somehow fail to look Japanese.  It's those gold flecks that make her eyes match her American hair exactly.

Boys can't seem to get more than a glance from her.
                       But one brave boy sent her a "note" valentine just yesterday.

"Will you be my valentine?" it said.  "Circle Yes or No."
 She was so proud  of that valentine outreach!

"So.....Sachiko. Did you circle Yes or No?"

Sachiko smiled.  "I circled or."

He dad is so happy.
That's one daughter he doesn't have to worry too much about.


Do you like my blog?  Circle Yes or No.
Ahhhhh, the or's have it!
But I love you anyway.
Riverwatch

thelandingatpinepoint.com

A Young Man

He is young
and a formidable global thinker.  

He is a world traveler.

His best friends are not Americans.

Naturally I find him interesting.

We speak of community and he speaks of a world I do not know. 

"Community?" he says.  He poses it with the lilt of a question but we both know it's not a question since he has the answer.

"Community is scattered to the 4 winds by the internet.  People group by interest on the internet and then connect in person once a year or so."  He downs half his bottle of Pure Water in one deep and long swig.

I take a sip from my diet coke."Well, I do understand it is a new world, but don't you need an anchor in the wind?"

"Oh hell no!  An anchor is for the olden days when people sailed the oceans.

pinterest.com

We are now sailing the wind and the last thing I need flapping in the wind is an anchor.  Even a tether is dangerous.  We are learning to sail the wind."

"So how do you all deal with tragedies and disasters?"

"Ah, good question.  We deal with them by accessing the communities we carry in our pockets.  There are so many disasters in the world and I of course want saved from the chaos.
Geography no longer is the defining characteristic of community. Community travels with us. Many communities travel with us.  Actually with me.  There is no traveling companion.  Don't need one.
But wind-sailing lessons would be good.  Even lessons on how to be ok without floundering while  afloat, drifting, or tossed about.  We are actually learning how to do that.  It begins with communities, the communities in our pocket."

Scrambling for relevance in my old age, I say with a smile, "I'll pray for you."

"Thanks", he says in a dismissive tone.  "Past generations wanted answers.  We want questions."

He has drained his bottle of Pure Water.
My diet coke has lost its fizz.
Both of us stare into oblivion, our stares blank.
I start designing dresses and ensembles in my mind, a mental exercise I taught myself years ago just in case I was ever imprisoned and needed a coping skill.

Ahh.  

Got to think about this one.

Ahh.

Your visit is an anchor.  



Actually, you sailed the wind to get here, didn't you?  

dreamstime.com

Riverwatch