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Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Is niceness nice?



Is niceness actually nice?
Image result for images of fields of flowers



There is something vicious about niceness
                                 because it covers up
                                                                   meaness,
                                                                     harshness
                                                                       abuse
                                                                         violence.

Cultivate honesty, not niceness,
    and you will be nice.

Dare to be brave.
Dare to be disappointed aloud.
Dare to be angry.


Related image
pinterest.com



Image result for images of women marching for suffrageWashingtonian
SO YOU WON!  (the vote....the amendment finalized in 1919 )

OK!!

We will give you MOTHER'S DAY!  ~   That'll teach you!
 Mother's Day: a proclamation in 1914 while women were in the streets, winning the vote.

Image result for images of woman surrounded by babiespinterest

MOTHER'S DAY!
The final blow to women.

Oh.
Mother's Day is 100% good for you, you say?
You are special indeed.
Put your glasses on
and look around at other women:
 the barren,
   the extremely fertile,
    the mothers who jumped the tracks and fled,
     the mothers without support,
      the crushed mother who gets praise and honor from two of her three children,
       the mother in the looney bin,
        the  lonely mother in the rest home,
          the mother bent over in the cemetery at the grave of her child.

Just saying.
I realize it was a woman who  advocated Mother's Day,
but then women put the screws to women over and over, so please excuse me for not being impressed.

Equality will not be complete until Mother's Day is abolished.

Fathers do not suffer on Father's Day.  Nor should they.  Father's Day is no big deal.  Absolutely no big deal and dad's couldn't care less about it.

But Mother's Day is back-loaded with hype and obligation.  Advertising, hype, and duty.  Guilt and pressure.
Just saying.


Riverwatch










Saturday, April 1, 2017

Intergeneration Understanding



Playing Magic cards with my 16 year old grandson, I am flustered at all the many curves and rules of the game!
So of course, I ask again for an explanation.

My teenage grandson looks at me.
Image result for images of teenage boy playing cards with old womanIDMb

"Grandma," he says slowly and evenly.
"I want to say this in the nicest possible way.              
You are old."
................long pause as he waits for this to sink in....

"and when people get old, things start to go."
....................long pause while he waits for this to sink in....

"And I notice that the first thing to go for you, is your hearing."



OMG.  I am scrambling to think of a witty retort.

...................long pause as he looks at me level, eye to eye to see if I heard.................

"but it won't be the last thing to go."




Well, I love him.
And he did say it in the nicest possible way.

Catch the curve,
Riverwatch

I am glad you had time to stop by.
And I want to say this, in the nicest possible way:
you must have been hard up for entertainment to visit this blog!
















Monday, March 20, 2017

Living in a Multicultural World




The World Around Us


We, the great we, should have:

"In essential things, unity
 in non-essential things, liberty
 in all things, charity."
    Rupertus Meldenius ......a long long time ago during the bloody European wars (are there any other kind?)




Here is the gift, or sadness...of aging:  "What are the essential things?"  ??????

Dammit!
I long for youth when nothing was fuzzy and language was crystal clear.
Heartsickness, Lover'S Grief








Hear the cry of the aged:  "In all things, charity.  Please, I beg you.  Charity."

People, Homeless, Male, Street, PovertyKasunChamara












I think I might be having a bad day, 
so thank you for coming.
Riverwatch

Related imagetr.freeimages.com















Monday, March 13, 2017

Dang it!





I have to tell you a word that scares the heck out of me:   CENTRIST

Remember when Obama first hit the national scene and was touted as a CENTRIST ?
It was like
...dew on the flower 
.... a rainbow in the sky
.......a walk in the park
..........a breath of fresh air
.............a golden gleam from on high.

We did not know if he was a centrist who would occasionally throw a bone to the left,
or would occasionally throw a bone to the right.

But the word CENTRIST itself was so filled with refreshing water,
like a Saguaro Cactus 
on the desert.


"I don't think that word means what you think it means."

And then we heard his minister, Rev. Wright.
Ranting hatefully about our America.
Our land of hope with its open society and its on-going efforts to improve!

Things began to not add up.

Dang it.  
Not a  centrist.
Is he left wing....as in communist, socialist liberal, progressive (moving lefter and lefter until horizontal), secularist, feminist, anti-capitalist, anarchist ?
Is he right wing.....as in conservative, theocratic, nationalist, traditionalist, fascist, neo-ad-nauseums (moving righter and righter until horizontal) ?

But that's not important. 

 What is important is Who am I?.... and What label fits me?

I have to confess, I don't know. 
I would have sworn I was right-wing until I saw the word "anarchist" and  I "felt the fit".  
That puts me squarely in the left -wing camp.
Does leaning further and further right finally bring you to the left?
Dang it!


Just another brick in my bucket of "gee whiz" to carry on my journey.

And incidentally,  (speaking of my journeys) my journey out of Mormonism has lead me to a place where I can admit there IS something about Mormonism (other than the people) that I like !

42 years as a Mormon and I never ran into one shred, not even a whiff of anti-semitism.

You cannot even believe how refreshing and significant that is until you leave the Mormon Church, and run into anti-semitism.

Mormons are so pro-Israel that they want to be Israelites!!
Seriously.
I received a blessing in that church that told me I am an Israelite!
Out of the ten lost tribes, I belong to the tribe of Ephraim.

I bet that might be very surprising to the Jews who are of the tribes that are not lost.

But so it is.







In reality I am part American Indian.        Image result for images of girl on horseback moonlight



Straight across the ancient land bridge from Asia some of my ancestors came.
Would Ghengis Khan be disappointed to find I am of "the lost tribe of Ephraim" in the Middle East?
Being mean and all, maybe he is not so easily fooled.

Not to worry, Ghengis.
I do dream of riding a fast horse across the moors in the moonlight,
and in my dreams I am young, always young.

Image result for images of girl on horseback moonlight

Not really a Jewish girl,
or even a Jewish matron.
Dang it.



Thanking you for flipping through this one!
Riverwatch





Friday, March 3, 2017

Far above me, far beyond me. Nothing in common.



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There is a mournful painful state connected to loving someone so far above you, so far beyond you, so different from you, having nothing in common with you.

Rumi, "the" poet of ancient Persia, addresses that situation so well in the following poem:

Reason says,
I will win him with my eloquence.

Love says,
I will win him with my silence.

Soul says,
How can I ever win him
When all I have is already his?

He does not want, he does not worry,
He does not seek a sublime state of euphoria -
How then can I win him
With sweet wine or gold?

He is not bound by the senses -
How then can I win him
With all the riches of China?

He is an angel,
Though he appears in the form of a man.
Even angels cannot fly in his presence -
How then can I win him
By assuming a heavenly form?

He flies on the wings of God,
His food is pure light -
How then can I win him
With a loaf of baked bread?

He is neither a merchant, nor a tradesman -
How then can I win him
With a plan of great profit?

He is not blind, nor easily fooled -
How then can I win him
By lying in bed as if gravely ill?

I will go mad, pull out my hair,
Grind my face in the dirt -
How will this win him?

He sees everything -
how can I ever fool him?

He is not a seeker of fame,
A prince addicted to the praise of poets -
How then can I win him
With flowing rhymes and poetic verses?

The glory of his unseen form
Fills the whole universe
How then can I win him
With a mere promise of paradise?

I may cover the earth with roses,
I may fill the ocean with tears,
I may shake the heavens with praises -
none of this will win him.

There is only one way to win him,
this Beloved of mine -
Become his.
**






Yes, I am sad,
when I am not ecstatic, 
hopeful when I am not in despair.
Related imagePinterest




Riverwatch








Saturday, February 25, 2017

Crystallized Intelligence




Thou Shalt Not Whine


It's odd.  "They" (whoever "they" are) cannot make up their minds whether they want us old folks to work until we can barely waddle out of the workplace,


or get out of the workplace earlier and open up slots for the younger unemployed workers. 

                                                           



.

It is straightforward  in Japan.  MUST retire at 60.  CANNOT "draw money" until 65.
Now there is a solution!
In Japan, you are expected to bridge that 5 year gap with your own saved funds.
Japanese workers save money for that horrendous 5 year gap.



Saving money means not SPENDING money, and our own national economy is dependent on us spending, not saving!

Japan's economy is also dependent on spending.  
Hence the "prolonged economic downturn" in Japan, the land of the "setting sun citizens".


Ageing is an adventure 
in the workplace .  
Or anywhere else.


Recent research by Monash University and the Australian Institute of Management found older workers may bring specific management 
skills and crystallized intelligence (intelligence based on knowledge acquisition and experience) to the table, 
where younger managers may have higher levels of fluid intelligence (basic or abstract reasoning ability).
Wow. 

Excuse me! 
   Not all older people  "crystallize".
Some remain fluid.  



OK.  
Most of us do dry up a little.  Crack around the edges.  "Crystallize", if you will.                                                               Experienced.                                                                                                                                                                                                 Got the tee shirt.    

       
Image result for images of old person with "got the tee shirt"pinterest


Thanks for the fly-by.  You obviously haven't crystallized!
Riverwatch













Wednesday, February 22, 2017

"You own everything........"






One of my favorite authors is Anne Lamott.
Here is a particularly comforting quote from her:


"You own everything that happened to you.

Tell your stories.

If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better."





Here is my own little quote:

"It is not always a good thing to be a close associate of somebody who loves to write.......
and it is particularly hazardous to give birth to somebody who loves to write!"




Image result for images of people writing
The Odessey On Line






Thank you for your bravery in showing up at this blog,
Riverwatch










Sunday, February 19, 2017

Game-changer



Game-changer Against Alzheimer's Disease



"It's a potential game-changer in the fight against the disease".

GOLDEN VALLEY, Minn. - For the first time ever, researchers in California claim they have reversed memory loss associated with Alzheimer's disease.
It's a potential game-changer in the fight against the disease as, to date, no effective treatment has been found.
More than five million Americans have Alzheimer's, and recent estimates put it as the third leading cause of death in the U.S.
"Everybody knows you can't reverse this. Once you lose it you can't get it back," said Dr. Dale Bredesen, neuroscientist at UCLA and author of the study.
"And I said, 'Well maybe that's not the case.'"
The study, released in partnership with the Buck Institute for Research and Aging, claims 9 out of 10 patients with progressive memory loss had their symptoms reversed within three to six months after undergoing an ultra-healthy lifestyle change personalized to each patient.
The one person who did not show improvement had late stage Alzheimer's.
Bredesen's approach included:
  • Eliminating simple carbs from her diet; 
  • no gluten or processed foods 
  •  Eating more veggies, fruits and wild caught fish 
  •  Yoga and meditation Increasing sleep to at least seven hours a night 
  •  Exercising at least 30 minutes, six days a week 
  •  Taking a regiment of vitamins and supplements
"I would even go so far as to say I don't even think I have a problem with memory now, which is a great surprise to me from where I was a year ago," said one patient in the study.
Bredesen feels this is a significant step in the direction toward finding effective treatment, but more needs to be done.
"So this is the beginning. This is the toe in the water. We are seeing for the first time reversals in cognitive decline, and we need to do many more patients and we need to do much more documentation," said Bredesen.
But the Alzheimer's Association is hesitant to hail this as a breakthrough for the disease.
"It's only ten people," said Debbie Richman, education director at the Minnesota-North Dakota Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association. "It's not enough for us as an organization to say this is going to be the next great thing, but we also aren't going to say it's bad to do those things."
Bredesen said he has already started a much larger test group for this new treatment -- something the science world will need before trusting it."
********




Nutrition matters in the fight against aging, which is not a disease, and diseases of all kinds.

Two supplements have made a world of difference to my own health:
Vitamin B-12 (high dose)  sublingually (under the tongue) though it could be given by injection at the Doctor's Office.


Image result for pink vitamin b12 pillPinterest
Sublingual.  I take four of these under my tongue to dissolve and enter my blood stream directly from the blood vessels under my tongue.
It is important to by-pass the stomach and digestive system where B12 has difficulty absorbing in older people.



Vitamin D 5000 units daily.  Yes, five thousand units.  Daily.
Image result for Vitamin Dglobalhealing.com



I take the B-12 for memory.  I usually take it once or twice a week......but I scurry to take a dose daily  if I find myself struggling to remember somebody's name or start with the everlasting blasted typo's and other little mistakes.

I take the high dose Vitamin D because two specialist physicians have told me to take it daily....and because it has erased a lot of musculoskeletal pain!  Both my parents died of colon cancer and that has been linked theoretically to low vitamin D levels.



.Related imagestylecraze.com




Thanks for dropping by my blog,
Riverwatch


















Saturday, February 18, 2017

How about a dose of unrest, even guilt and turmoil?




How religious leaders can threaten you if you lose  faith in them. 

They equate themselves with the Almighty, saying if you turn away from them, you turn away from the Almighty.  
And the Almighty  will drown you.

Drown if you leave the boat!  

Image result for images of Christ feeding the ten thousandtenthousandplaces.org

I would laugh, but it isn't funny.

Image result for images of Christ feeding the ten thousand


From  the Mormon's World Wide General Conference October  2014

Stay in the Boat and Hold On!

by M. Russell Ballard

“I have discovered in my ministry that those who have become lost [and] confused are typically those who have most often … forgotten that when the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve speak with a united voice, it is the voice of the Lord for that time. The Lord reminds us, ‘Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same’ [D&C 1:38].”5
In other words, they leave the Old Ship Zion—they fall away; they apostatize. Tragically, they often experience short-term and eventually long-term unintended consequences, not only for themselves but also for their families.
Our local Church leaders, like seasoned river guides, have been tutored by life’s experiences; have been trained and mentored by apostles and prophets and other officers of the Church; and, most important, have been tutored by the Lord Himself.
*
*

Or how about some  guilt for those who think they can swim?

                                                   Ilder Kacher of the Seventy:
Will I be wise enough to hang on in spite of questions?  
Never trifle with sacred things.  
Choice affects others.   
Our sins causes others to fall away.      
*
*

So, if I am honest in my belief, it is a sin?
Oh, dear.

Sorry about Ballard and Kacher's god.  

My God does say "Come unto me, all you who are heavy burdened and I will give you rest."
He also says "love one another" and I am working on that.

Related imagewordpress.com


Nowhere does he say, "Follow those men. They are infallible."


Thank you  for your attention to my blog,
Riverwatch









Saturday, February 11, 2017

"Everything is not about you, Mom."










Family breakfasts here at my "down on the farm" home in the middle of suburbia are nothing like the "Pioneer Woman's" TV show.

But it will do.

Since my daughter-in-law is too busy reading scriptures about how to build family relationships, she doesn't have time to build family relationships.
It is just my son and his kids.
Sometimes other cousins and attached adults.
Mostly just my son and his kids.

I cook.  He serves and he serves without thought.  He is used to serving meals to his children.  I am grieved that he is so......used.  My daughter jumps all over me.  "Mom!  This is a GOOD thing, not a bad thing. What is wrong with you!!"
"I have low self-esteem", I mumble quietly, almost incoherently.
Aloud I say strongly, "I wish he had a wife who was on deck!"

"Why?", comes the acid rejoinder.
See, my daughter just went through a "WE ARE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE" dissolution of her 28 yr marriage.
"Relationships are too much damn work!" she exclaims.
She seems acidic for someone who has just had an "amicable" divorce and when I recover my self-esteem I am going to tell her so.


Flappin' family  fragments, but it will do.



Finished with the cookin' and the servin', my son and I have a chance to sit and chat.
His goal is to sit and relax.
My goal is to sit and chat with an adult man.

He speaks of scouting.  He is ambivalent about his boy and scouts.  "If it were just about a bunch of boys camping, I  would feel differently.  It is just so messed up.  And he doesn't want to go.  I don't believe in making people be religious or making people have fun.  His mother makes him go."

Suddenly I picture my daughter-in-law sitting in their home ALONE with the drapes drawn while she studies scriptures.
Actually that might not be the worst way to spend your motherhood time.
Image result for images  oanimatedf rainy day iphotobucket

Probably not state of the art mothering.  But it will do.  Don't forget to lock the door.

I probe about the scout dilemma.  "Is it the gay issue?"
"NO! Gosh. You are sounding self-righteous again."
I am stunned.  I don't know whether I am more stunned by "self-righteous" or "again".
Later I whine to my daughter about this unwarranted attack and she says, acidly, "Oh get over it Mom.  Everything is not about you!  He is having a hard time.  Let it go."

But for the moment I am distracted by my son's opinion of me and so I change the subject.
"Your children sure live in a different world these days."
"Yes.  My children are going to be faced with the Fast Food of Relationships."
"Say, what ?"
"My generation had Fast Food to destroy our health.  It was such an easy solution to a difficult dilemma of getting food in a busy world.  We all know Fast Food isn't good for you, but it will do when you are hungry.  Long range destruction to your health and well-being, but an easy solution to a challenging problem.  We are learning to stay away from Fast Food.
But my children will grow up into a world of Fast Food of Relationships, acceptable porn and sex robots, bypassing the challenge of developing real relationships.  It will not be as good as love. But it  will do.  And it will destroy health and well being as surely as Fast Food.  In fact it will be devastating.   I grieve for what my children will face."







He and I munch silently on our bacon.  He has figured out I am not as smart, (excuse me, he said EDUCATED) as he is.  I am wondering if he is as smart as he knows he is.
Yeh, I'm the one who bought the bacon.  I, a nurse, know it is not a wise choice, but it will do on a rainy day down on the farm.


Image result for images  oanimatedf rainy day i
chi nese.com






Thanks for raising my self-esteem by visiting because the  bacon didn't do it,
Riverwatch

Related imagepinterest                



Image result for images  oanimatedf rainy day i
                                                                                                  The Odyssey On-line



















Friday, February 10, 2017

Parenting is a style.

I love this post about the power of love.


*

Absentee  Parent


Was she really gone?  


Is Mommy never coming back?

She said she was coming back. 

IS  she coming back?

When?

She doesn't love me!

She said she loved me.  That she loved us all.

She said she was coming back.

She hasn't come back!  She's never coming back.

When is she coming back?

She left because I am bad, didn't she?  
I'm sorry, Mommy.  
Forgive me, Mommy.


That is how it went for my father.


And then, one fine day, after "the village" had finished rearing her kids with their broken hearts, my father's mother showed up, just like she said she would.

The "second coming" had actually happened, just like she said it would.

She Was Adored !!!!!!!

Image result for images of a woman with her grown sonsfoxbusiness.com
All her sons adored her.
They basked in her love, her steadiness!
Hearts were mended, sinews were put back together.



Her daughters-in-law hated her.
After all, it was a "first coming" for them.
Image result for images of a woman with her grown sonsirishtimes.com

But her sons adored her and needed her presence to heal.

   She did love them, after all!!

They bowed and scraped to her the rest of their lives.
Not one of them went into therapy.
(How can you whine about the village vintage bits who raised you a bit here and a bit there?  Or a mother who reappears?)

Some of my kids, on the other hand, with their zealous mommy, have taken a stint or two through therapy chairs.  I kid you not.
It is so vexing to be protected, guided, fed properly and managed !

Someone making you brush your teeth or do your homework is obviously the crucible.

Screaming "Shut UP!" to boisterous loud kids is NOT COOL!  I get that.
After all, it is your fault they were born, your fault they are nervous, your fault they are genetically flawed.
 And guess what.  You are the one who has taught them to be loud.
*

I cannot help but think about God, sometimes, when I think about my reappearing Granny, adored by her grown sons.  
That might sound offensive, since Granny was obviously grievously flawed........
but don't some people feel abandoned by God?
Don't  some people not even believe in Him?
How could He leave us alone to rely on the village persons (who may not even LIKE us) for help when we need help?

He does answer prayers.........but you gotta  have your eyes open and your ears open to see and hear.

He is NOT micro-managing us.

When He comes again, as He has promised, our broken hearts will be mended,
     we will adore Him,
          for we will realize we really are and have been loved.

We will not need therapy.

He made us.

He allows us.

  

Looking forward to the Second Coming,
....already dreading Mother's Day and it is only February,

Riverwatch