I've Landed!

Friday, August 18, 2017

Humble or Happy

It's not that my family has no intelligence, because we do!  There is brooding intelligence all over the place.

It is not that my family has no happiness, because we do!  There is manufactured and food-oriented and relationship happiness all over the place including random and strange whackaroos who are happy for no apparent reason.

It is not that my family has no humility because we do!  It doesn't come easy, but life keeps on trying to teach us and we learn bit by bit.

Enter my grandson.  
Just today as I was busing him to Middle School he enthusiastically told me how he got Jolly Ranchers yesterday because not only could he type faster than anybody in his computer class, he was faster than his teacher!
"And for that you got Jolly Ranchers?  I would have asked for money!"
He laughed.
"How did you like your PE class?" I asked because I knew he was dreading 75 minutes of PE.
"For thirty minutes we sat cross legged on the smelly gym floor listening to our teacher talk about PE.  That's not PE!   Then we ran.  He couldn't think of anything else to do so we ran.  I am faster than all of them, including my teacher!"
"I bet you could have thought of lots of things to do besides run", I said.  
He laughed.

My grandson really is gifted and talented.  His mother is Japanese so I suspect somewhere hidden in her genes is brilliance.  Not that my son isn't bright because he really is bright, a global thinker, a man of integrity.  And happy.
Yes.  41 years ago I gave birth to a happy baby!   All of us stood in awe of his happy personality.  He wakes up happy!
He never outgrew that and I am awed at that stamina of happiness.

Of course he is a little worried about his son.

"Seriously, Mom, I worry about him.  He is so self-aware of his advanced abilities and he is not humble.  He thinks he is the best.  I am not sure that is a good thing but I don't quite know what to do about it because he really is the best and even when he isn't, he thinks he is.  He always knows what little glitch got in the way of his top achievement and he'll get that fixed.  And he fixes it.  I worry what affect that will have on him socially and with friends."

My grandson has no trouble making and keeping friends.  He is interested in everything, including people that are "less advanced".
Turns out my grandson is a happy person and people love being around happy.  He laughs a lot!
Maybe happiness really is genetic.

I know people love to be around my son!  Everybody wants him to be part of the ticket.
Well.....maybe his Japanese wife is a little weary of somebody who cannot be knocked down into the mire.
I see it in her face, sometimes.
Surely part of happiness is having some sort of ability to Not Get A Clue!

My son laughs less than he used to.

But I digress.
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 I was just thinking as I was driving home under the desert sky,  a few high autumn clouds bespeaking the time of year, birds roosting on lines and roof tops and flitting among the trees, how much I wish I could run faster than the PE teacher.

It is NOT true that our number one wish as we fold into old age is to retain our brains.

Our dream is to run fast without pain.

I limped into my home and sank down at the computer with a diet coke.Image result for image of old woman drinking a diet coke at the computerbuzzfeed.com

Ahh.   The rising generation.  God bless them.

Blessings to you for visiting,

Monday, August 14, 2017

What's real?

Reality is that which, 
when you stop believing in, 
doesn't go away.

By no means an original,
but I have no clue who said it.
Probably somebody old.

Glad to see you,

Friday, August 11, 2017

Thunder, Lightening, Pain, Trouble Sleeping

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
It has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain. 

Ahh......at last the rain, the gentle rain to sooth my soul.
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Ahh,  The rain.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

negative negatives from the negative

Once upon a time, when I was young, I studied aging.

The first thing I learned was "It is not they, it is we.  It is not them, it is us."
We are all aging and it is possible to be thrown on the heap of old folks at age 30 by a up-and-coming teenager.

I also learned we stereotype so many things, people, situations because our minds "categorize" as a way of handling so much information.

"Let's see....... that goes with that..... and that is like that."
An intelligent response to reality.
We ain't bad!  We are normal.  Our brains naturally stereotype for us.  A bit lazy but it works to keep us functional.

The solution to stereotyping of anything  is more and more education.

Like the real life trench of being old teaches us about aging.

Then you start (excuse me!) WE start seeing real differences in old people and we begin telling ourselves we are not as old as that old cranky son of a bitch...............
or that people who see us as old have no right to their intelligent response to reality.

We begin viewing our own selves negatively.

It's not like we are stupid.  We have mirrors.
We know we are not the fairest of them all.
We know we are old.
It is just....so.....shocking.

Having trolled the halls of health care as a young health care giver, I know what it is like to take care of people old and decrepit.  It ain't fun.

There is this hopeless air of mortality that hangs over the whole scene and can only be dealt with by the young as "that is another world, not mine".

We never feel we are going to get old when we are young.
If we think at all, we think we are going to die young.  It is so much easier to visualize ourselves dying young, than visualize ourselves old.
Thus the shock of old age.
I have yet to meet an old person who isn't truly shocked.
 "Oh, my god, I am old!"

One of the wonderful things that can happen in life's arena is when you run into an old person with a sense of humor.  Oh, my.
Humor is healthy!  Even if ancient.
Image result for images of old person with a mirrorme.me

Alas.  Many of us old people are in so much pain we haven't a sense of humor left, even if we started out with one.

Of course I no longer stereotype old people.  I am old and I see how different we old people are from one another.

I do believe everybody, including me, has a right to good health care.  

However, resources are not unlimited and in the rationing process, whether it is time spent on my case, or tests for me paid for by "the system", or understanding of my plight of being old, when I come up short-changed I am more understanding than you might think.
Disappointed, of course.  Steamed, even.
But I understand.
I support the rising generation.   God bless them.                                                                                     Their day is coming if they are so blessed as to live to be old.

In the meantime, I spend more time thinking about higher ground than I used to spend.

 As my "lots older" friend said the other day, "I keep thinking about the next step anymore.  I find myself excited about what that might be like."
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Glad you visited this aging blog on aging by an aged person who gets older every day,

Sunday, August 6, 2017

My friend, the Stranger.

My Friend, the Stranger

She describes herself as a stranger in the world.
You know, the new world.
The old one passed away so many years ago.

Being a nurse and all, I know that living long, one can wake up to a new world more than once.
A new world peopled with new people, the ones you knew having disappeared.
A different world, run by new rules.

My friend says that one doesn't even have to live long to be a stranger in a strange world!

She wasn't old when death came calling for her.
She was young with two sons who might surely need her.
And so she stayed.
Her dad came calling for her in a dream.
 "Follow me", he said,
but she remembered he had died
and to follow him meant no return to her sons.

"Can't, Dad," she said.

And so she stayed.
Battling death for 5 years.  In limbo.  Between two worlds.magickcanoe.com

Then one day, she was truly upright.  The cancer was gone.
Health returned but it was a new world.
The old world had gone on during the preceding five years, but she had not.

"The world was different," she said, "and I was a stranger."

Bit by bit she returned from the limbo between two worlds, but years later she occasionally has lingering fears a new battle may errupt, and what will she do if it does?

Being a stranger in a strange world is now part of her being.
Will she want to battle again to stay in this world should the battlefield re-emerge?

Even the concept is a dilemma.

Because now she realizes, she says,
that we are all strangers to this place we call home.


Stranger, friend or family,
thank you for dropping by,