I've Landed!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

One of the Last Instincts

Thank you for the clamor to hear more about when I almost throttled a grandchild......and about my UFO experience.

I think I will do the "throttle expo" first, since I must try to clear my reputation....or at least let you know you are no better than I am, being human and all.   You aren't a hybrid, are you?

The event took place  in a parking lot.....and let's not call me old, though old I am....but let us call me diseased, chronically diseased.

I don't have ADHD (but I sure am related to a lot of folks who do!), and when I was young......strike that!.....when I was well I could run after those little streaks of willfulness and carry them back to where they belong.
Those days are gone.  If I must modify a child's behavior, I have to "reason"....or something , because my arms go skiwampus  on me and give out on me and I am not into the physical contests.  Just cannot do it.
So when my grandchild ran out into traffic and wouldn't listen to reason......throttling came to mind and almost happened!  I truly reacted!

Don't blame me and judge me harshly!  The instinct to throttle another person lurks within us all.
I know this because I was a Critical Care Nurse and I have experience with basic human instincts (which are more complex than simple reflexes).
One busy day in ICU I was leaning over a human wreck to suction her airway.  She seemed comatose, but SUDDENLY her long bony fingers grabbed my neck.
     "My god!"   I was so startled I swore as I jumped back, loosening her mighty grip.  I repented immediately of my language.
     But I cannot tell you how stunned I was.  She seemed a whisp of a being, almost corpse-like....skinny pale sticks for legs, almost no hair on her head, sunken stomach, old (is it ok if I say old?) and so very ill.  Hooked up to lines and whirligigs. None of which she wanted, I bet.  What we do to old people is sometimes beyond the pale.   (I mean, what happens to us is sometimes beyond the pale.)

  So because of all my ICU experience, I know that I can still throttle someone!!  Wreck that I am, I retain a certain ability to grab somebody by the throat!  Especially if it is not pre-planned,but instinctual.  It doesn't take brains, much of a neuro system, much of a muscular system, adequate nutrition, practice or much of anything. 
 Perhaps it may be a left-over vestigial instinct of our ancestor's jungle days?
     "Go for the throat!"
Judging from what I have seen as a nurse, it is one of the last instincts to go.
     You must admit, watching a child swing through traffic is enough to cause you to drop dead in your tracks!  Thus the survival instinct of going for the  throat.  You are in danger.  And guess who put you there?

My grandchild was in danger, not just from traffic but from me, but somehow survived.  It's not like a kid with ADHD is gonna stay put in the middle of traffic, but only dash through it weaving in and out, laughing.

The instinct to throttle arises suddenly......and wears off slowly.

Grateful my grandchild lives today,
Riverwatch, RN