I've Landed!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Descents, Free Falls and Falling Flat

     Ahh, fearless Felix, Austrian daredevil, only 43, knows nothing about the twilight zone landscape he may land on someday!!!
     Our descent, his eventual descent, is nothing like his supersonic free fall.  You must admit that, no matter how much you may have tumbled this past year.
     I must refrain from calling Felix a fool, because God has told me not to call other people fools.  That commandment is a bit hard for me, so I always try to include myself in any slip of calling humans stupid.

     So, let's agree Felix is not stupid.  I dare not call him a fool.  So I will just have the grace to say I think Felix the Great has just given the green light to an upgraded First Class on commercial flights, most likely American Airlines flights.
     Just think of it.  You will be able to pay another little Extra Fee and get a pressurized suit that self deploys in the event your airplane suddenly blows apart.  Mother Earth's gravity will bring you home!  And since you are up-to-date on The News (being a First Classer and all) you will know to stick out one of your arms if you start to spin while free falling.  If that doesn't work, put that arm down and stick out the other arm and surely you will stop spinning and fall like a decent chap or chick.  Gravity will be your friend and bring you down to where you can deploy your  parachute to argue with Gravity a bit until you gently touchdown on land or belly flop onto the ocean.  I'm curious.  Do you think you would have paid the Extra Fee for a life boat?

     The one bad thing about the pressurized suit (made in China) is under some circumstances other than a crack-apart-plane (made in the USA), it can self deploy.  Like if your seat (made in the USA) on the plane suddenly loses it moorings and goes skidding down the aisle.
Boom!  You are ten times bigger and trapped.

Now tell me again how vastly different China is from the USA?
Oh, yes, VASTLY geographically vaster, VASTLY more  amounts of citizens (far more people in their standing army than inhabit the entire USA!!!! and we are trying desperately to keep people out of our great country and keep birthrates down), VASTLY more gigantic economy, the most musical language on earth, and more control over their VAST amounts of peoples than we would ever tolerate, our country having being settled by social rebels and social fringe,  & Freedom of Religion rebels.......right over top of stubborn Indians!!!  Don't get me wrong.  I am part Indian and I would never tolerate the fences of Asia, either.  I am not lauding China.  Only wondering why we aren't more impressed. ...and less stupid about China.

     Yeh,  heck, calling people stupid or foolish is politically incorrect or even pre-hellish.  My former daughter-in-law, who used to be funny when she was still in the family, had us all laughing one day when she said, "There's no fixing stupid."  How we all laughed thinking she meant you.
     Now in retrospect I cannot help wondering, Do you suppose she was talking about us?
     One time when their marriage was still intact and we were all still speaking to one another, I decided I needed to take a stance on my own behalf to keep this particular daughter-in-law in check.  I decided I could get away with it in a crowd ....never ever alone.....so I practiced up for the next big family dinner.
     At the right moment, I said to her, "Honeybunch," (that's what my mom always called me when she was maneuvering to win big) "Honeybunch, there is something I need you to do for me.  I don't handle being made fun of very well, so you have just got to quit making fun of me."
     The family crowd was respectful waiting for her response.  She looked me over from head to toe, slowly, coolly and gently, and then she said, "I would, River, but you just give me so much material to work with."
     The crowd erupted in applause and laughter.
     I've been dead in the water ever since.  I wouldn't exactly call it a supersonic free fall, but a belly flop is a belly flop no matter at what speed you hit the water.

Well, here's some bad news about old (hey, it can't all be good!).  We do, all of us, lose physical strength.  We are weaker and more vulnerable with every passing year.  If we fight, we lose.
Even in the battle of the wits, we can be bested by the young crowd.
Our only consolation is in knowing what's coming down the pike for them.

Secretly smiling, (just kiddin', just kiddin')