I've Landed!

Monday, October 1, 2012

"I don't act like this on the freeway."

I tell you, as soon as you pick a subject to blog about, the living stories pop up all around you!

     The shopping cart was not only parked in the middle of the aisle, it was skiwampus, blocking my way completely.
I leaned against my own shopping cart.  The old man in charge of the wayward shopping cart was good looking enough that I thought how glad I was that I was driving my cart under my own steam, wearing matching earrings....and I was tired enough to be patient. 
     I had almost, almost, sunk to my lowest level of humiliation and climbed aboard a shopping scooter this shopping trip.  I just couldn't allow myself to do it, in spite of the fact that I have evolved from feeling sorry for scooter riders to feeling jealous.  I do suffer with the sin of a teeny bit of pride (hence the matching earrings), but I am beginning to even lust after wheel chairs!  What is happening to me? 
     I tell you, the research freakies should stop focusing on trying to make us artificially beautiful and start researching in earnest how to make personal cloaking devices.  I tell you true, they would make a fortune.  I would have been on a scooter if only I could have cloaked myself! !  Many other things I would do if I had a cloaking device.  You would also, I bet.  I bet whoever makes a personal cloaking device first will be a trillionaire  (and we all now have some warp-of-an-idea of what a trillion actually is).
     But I digress.  The old man had his shirt tucked in and I tell you that ranks a man in the same manner matching earrings rank a woman.  It is not as good as a cloaking device, but it does scream "I am not demented!"   
     I decided to wait patiently for as long as it took for the old man to figure out the labels.  There was only water and soda pop on the aisle, but he was laboring over the labels.  Finally he looked up startled to see me watching.   
     "Oh!  I am so sorry," he said. "I don't act like this on the freeway."

     I started to laugh.  I had a come-back swirling slowly in my head but I couldn't speak it.  "I will never know," I wanted to say, "because I just made a command decision to never travel the freeway again!"  
Stifling my laugh and come-back, I smiled and silently pushed on by the old man, barely clipping the end-display with my cart.  Dang it!  Have you noticed how they jet those displays out into the aisle?  Shame on them.

The cop who came to talk to our group recently about when is it time to give up the driver's license, talked a lot about preserving a driver's license and hanging onto it as long as we are not dangerous.
     By the time we turn in the old license and have to hoof it everywhere.....well, by that time the old hooves might not be working so well.  So hang on to the license as long as feasible.

Here are some things we can do to make our license, or privilege, last a longer time:

Avoid driving at night, dawn, or dusk
Drive only to familiar locations
Avoid driving long distances
Avoid freeways
Avoid rush hour traffic
Leave plenty of time to get where we are going
Don't drive alone
Certainly don't drink! We are probably already a bit impaired and have less tolerance to drugs and alcohol.
Be aware of the side effects of any medication we take that might affect judgement and alertness
Start asking for rides and using public transportation so we get used to that mode of mobility  (not a bad idea for young folks, also)

But if the only choice for a relief driver is a teenager,
feel free to chose to drive!
The statistics are on our side, even dusk to dawn.

       One more bit of evidence that we are better going down than they are rising.

I appreciate your visit,