Friday, May 17, 2013

Stop it !



Stop it!
 It is time in your life to rest!!
 You're too old to do that!

I remember when Edith remarried.
I was 37, divorced and wondering where bliss was for me, and here she was, 79 years old and landing a catch! Frankly I was impressed and mollified for my future, seeing that success can come at any age.
But then I was only Edith's neighbor, not her family.

What an uproar that family made over Edith's decision!!!
The first thing they said was that Edith was demented!
She wasn't.

When that accusation didn't stick, they said the old man was demented. Maybe. I don't know. He only said two sentences to me and even though they didn't make sense, Edith was pleased with him.
He was 85. And getting married. Perhaps he was overcome with joy and so didn't make good sense.

And then the kicker, “You are TOO OLD”! ...and they started listing all the physical things that were wrong with Edith, all the trips for health care...they even threw in the broken ankle she recovered from the year before. “You aren't in good health!”
They even said that she had the poor judgement to step off a curb without looking.  (That was how she broke her ankle, stepping off a curb.)

Privately they said, “Now who is gonna babysit the grandkids? Grandkids need their grandma! All she is marrying him for is to have somebody to go to the movies and concerts with!”

The only thing Edith said about the uproar to me was, “They don't like change. This is about babysitting. They are losing their babysitter.” She sounded pleased.

Now that I am old, not having died young, I am experiencing the “you can't do that” fiddle faddle.

I continue to work some, and my physician thinks I am not viewing my circumstances wisely.
“Just look at yourself! What do you have to offer anybody!”
She is a young doctor. Honest and upfront. A straight shooter. That's why I like her.
She causes you to think, and that is invaluable.
So I thought, What do I have to offer?
Frankly, I don't know what bits I still have to offer.
But I do know I need to continue to lay my gifts, whatever they are, on the table.

I was asked to give some extra service at church. I said yes and my daughter reacted. “It's your time to rest! Let somebody else do that. You aren't young anymore!”
*
Our downward trajectory has as many zags as a teenager's upward trajectory.
The course is not smooth & even....... and the up & down nature of it is confusing.
We know it is a downward trajectory (we aren't stupid!) but it does go UP as well as down.....so of course we have to assess and reassess.
We ourselves don't know what we are capable of, because we know we have changed and “aren't young anymore”.  We know we are continuing to change.
We don't want to fail and make fools of ourselves, so sometimes we stop laying our gifts, whatever they are, on the table.
 We listen to the voices without, and the faltering voice within.

I say, “Look to God, and go for it.”  


Zigging and zagging,
Riverwatch