A Piece of Work, a Real Piece of Work!
Her reputation preceded her before she came to work with us. She was young and beautiful and ready to take on any man,
and ready to trample any woman.
“She is a real piece of work”, I
was told. “A real piece of work.”
We hired her anyway. (Acute care hospitals are often desparate to get staff.)
My life has thrown us into each other's
paths multiple times, so I have had time to observe Crayolla up close and also from the sidelines.
And here is what I have seen, looking
of course with my jaded eyes and preconceived notions.
Crayolla is a consummate liar.
Polished beyond anything you can imagine. Believable beyond belief.
How does she do it, I wondered?
Lies that are so
powerful. Lies that are so hard to dispute.
How does she do it?
Watching has given me a few insights. Perhaps you will find these insights interesting.
One of Crayolla's methods of spreading
lies is visual.
Her visual descriptions that carry the
lie are not filled with details, but she uses something very
familiar that the person listening LOVES.
The deception comes out as a warm
fuzzy.
Example: About a fat nurse who has raised a question about Crayolla's honesty, Crayolla
says kindly, “She should not be a nurse. She should
be an ice cream truck girl.”
Example: About her own child, “When
you were up in heaven before you were born, you looked down and
saw me and you were so excited and jumped and and down and said
“That is the girl
I want for my mom. She is the BEST!!”
Example:
“This is a wonderful girl who wrote EVERY day in her journal that
she wanted to work
for me!”
Naturally she said this, not to "the girl", but to another person.
Crayolla uses cross-over emotions
to tell lies about how someone feels and the resulting confusion
allows other lies to slip through unchecked.
Example:
“You love the cooker so you never mind waiting on the cooker to
prepare
your food.”
Crayolla weaves mixtures of truths and
lies irrationally to tell a big lie.
Example:
“My parents are so straight-laced they could not tolerate it when I
left the
church. That's why we don't have a close relationship. It is all
about the church. That's why I don't go to church anymore. Because of them.”
Example:
“I left the church because I wanted to go on a mission like my
brothers, but
Dad said I couldn't go because I am a girl and girls need to get
married.”
Her
abortion as a teenager is never mentioned.
Example:
explaining one of her brief other employments where she was hired for one
position, demoted to another and then told to “get your crap and get
out because we have no place for you here”, in
a gentle caring voice she explained her new circumstance to the crowd,
“
Well it was a laid-off kind of
thing. I got hired for one position and then that position went away
and I was put in another position but that position went away and
finally the manager Greg said, 'Well, I don't know what to do with
you' and I said well it looks bad on the record to get laid off so I
will just quit.”
If you try to surface the truth, her favorite response is "If you can't prove it, it didn't happen."
Crayolla uses a generic truth to cover her as she diminishes
truth and good.
Example:
“The team leader is the most important employee
and so people are
jealous
of me and that's why that employee survey was skewed against me.
I get
compliments all the time because I am a great boss.
Crayolla uses bold lies
when someone has no access to other information.
Example:
“You can't pay any attention to what she said before she died.
She is somebody who never even married because she never wanted to get married”.
Crayolla uses bold lies, but in a soft voice, when she perceives she
has power over someone.
Example: to a patient.... "that candy was meant for me and you will give me that or you are
history.”
to a person she has damaging information on …... “you
wouldn't dare not do what I ask you to do.”
to a person who is trying to have a relationship with her, “you
will do as I say or I will make you life a living hell”.
Always always always in a soft silken voice.
Crayolla uses the credibility of others to float her lies.
Example: “Don't waste your time. The administrator has said we need to solve things as a team and when I have talked with him he always agrees
with me.”
Example: Dr. Yeager always agrees with me.
Example: The whole committee endorsed my idea. It was
unamimous. They love all my ideas.”
Crayolla uses modifications to maime what she cannot erase.
Example: “That might or might not be true.
It might be true
what you are saying about that or it might not be exactly true.
Maybe it's true sometimes, but often we change our minds about what
is and what isn't.
Probably it is a mixture and you are so smart, I
bet you can get that figured out.”
Crayolla uses isolation and "protect, don't tell" to cover her lies.
While some people use darkness and aloneness as isolating methods,
Crayolla uses hyperactivity,
frequent changes of subjects,
exibitionism,
and drama
as amazing methods to isolate.
That flurry of "snowflakes" hides the details.
Crayolla uses humor to cast a spell .
Example: "Brad, sad, bad. hahaha. That all rhymes."
"Pat, sat, rat. hahaha. That all rhymes."
The magical spell floats down around you.
You feel sticky, and you have no idea where the web came from.
Nor do you know how to extricate yourself.
Possible methods to deal with a consummate liar:
Don't hire them!! But if you do, be prepared to be bested.
However you might use the following:
“Why
don't I have a memory of that? Are you trying to create a memory for
me out of your imagination?”
“Those
two things don't even go together. I guess I am confused about what
you are trying to say.”
“Why don't we get several people to weigh in on
this assessment and see if all agree with that.”
"Why don't we go to several sources for
information so we can get the most info possible about that.”
Spells woven by anyone can be broken by distance and time. Break the woven spell by stepping away, leaving, and allowing time to diffuse the effect.
Firing the person works if you don't mind being sued.
According to psychologists, we all are dishonest at times.
But most of us are unskilled liars and we usually get busted and our lies topple.
Not very many of us are consummate liars.
There is a purpose to this post because it will be followed soon by a more important post on magic and deceptions.
Thanks for hanging in with me,
Riverwatch
